Dear Prime Minister,

Can you prove that David Seymour, ACT MP for Epsom and friend of the National Party, is a real person and not in fact a hologram created by you, whose functions include agreeing with everything you say and being the butt of all jokes for a while?

Are there medical and/or laboratory records which could either prove or disprove this?

Are David Seymour's attempts to remove Maori seats from parliament and privatize ACC also a result of being under your instruction, or is he simply gaining too much sentience? Has this all gone horribly wrong? Can he be stopped?

Is the fact that he's always wearing the same suit and tie a virus, perhaps one which was contracted from Helen Clark or Rodney Hide, two more possible holograms also seen exhibiting this glitch?

We feel that, as constituents and members of the public, this is important information which ought to be disclosed. The results of this inquiry will no doubt be of massive public interest to the inhabitants of David Seymour's electorate and the people of this great nation as a whole.

Yours faithfully,
Zoe and Chelsea